Echo (Bound to the Fae Book 2) Page 5
“So why can’t I stop?” he mutters, thumb reverently stroking over the scars. “I just want to protect you.”
Dorian keeps a firm grip, knowing from the stiffness in my body that I need him to hold me together right now. “Keeping her safe isn’t enough; she needs you to love her.”
Lucien’s thumb never stops, keeping as steady as the pendulum of a clock. “But I do,” he growls, struggling to find where the disconnect is and getting increasingly frustrated.
Dorian kisses my neck, giving him time to formulate a response. “When your dad died,” he starts cautiously, giving Luce a chance to shut down the conversation, “you promised to take care of your brother. You loved him and couldn’t protect him. When you found me, you became obsessive, blurring the two concepts into one, I think. The two things aren’t synonymous.”
Luce frowns as if the idea has never once occurred to him. While he wrestles with the idea, he continuously strokes the mark on my chest and I start to gradually relax. The repetitive rhythm is something I can handle, calming my agitation so I’m less paralyzed by nerves.
“I like spending time with you,” I finally manage, sounding pathetic and small.
The corner of his mouth twitches. “I like spending time with you as well. I’m sorry I led you to believe otherwise.”
I shrug a single shoulder, trying to downplay everything and make it less awkward. “Not your fault I’m so needy.”
At that, his hand stills on my chest, the other coming up to cup my jaw. “Stop. Don’t try to twist things to give me a free pass and shoulder blame that isn’t yours to bear. I struggle, Cambria; I’ll be the first to admit that. It’s a challenge for me to connect with people as much as it is to see when I’m being an asshole. I honestly don’t mean to hurt you or make you feel bad. If I’m unintentionally brushing you off, please, call me out on it. I have tunnel vision more often than not, and might just need a smack in the head now and again.”
I have to force the words out, but it’s akin to chewing glass to admit aloud. “I think I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop, and you guys to finally see that I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”
He leans in to kiss me tenderly. “Cambria Lark, you are worth far more than I could give you, but I’m certainly going to try my best.”
Turning back to Dorian so that he can see the sincerity in my eyes, I attempt to put my appreciation into words, but nothing I think of completely encompasses the feeling. So instead, I settle for basic. He deserves much more, but it’s all I have right now.
“Thank you. For always knowing what I need long before I do.”
He smiles back at me, kissing my shoulder. “I try, but sometimes I miss the mark a little. Good thing there’s three of us to try and figure you out, gorgeous.”
I melt between them, Dorian at my back and Lucien at my front. I twist to better reach him, trying to convey everything I want to say and can’t with the kiss. He deserves better than that, they all do, but I’m just not there yet. I don’t know how to articulate the feelings battering around inside of me, scared to actually let myself be truly happy.
I’m used to coasting along on the surface of emotions, letting them carry me from one point to the next, but never actually submerging myself in them. These three force me to confront things I’d rather repress, to take the hard steps forward to bring about change. I liked my little bubble of denial, yet they came in with just as many sharp edges as I was concealing.
I think I love them, but after being treated like shit for my entire life, maybe I’m just confused on how to react when someone shows me a sliver of kindness. I’m not any better than Lucien, blurring the lines of concepts into how I think I should act or feel, but I’m just as lost. Untethered, ironically enough, despite my three invisible chains.
When Lucien tries to step away and give us privacy, I hook my finger in his belt loop, not pulling him closer, but keeping him from slipping away. I tear myself away from Dorian, gazing up at Luce and feeling more exposed than I ever have before in my life.
“Stay?”
If this is love, I don’t know how I’ll be able to stand it. I’m giving them easy access to destroy me more completely than anyone’s managed thus far.
His gaze flicks to Dorian for a moment, a silent conversation taking place between them so easily. I want that, more than I even knew until now. I want to just look at someone and have them know everything I’m thinking without forcing me to say the words. It would make my life ten times easier.
Nodding once as he makes up his mind, he strips off his shirt and kicks his shoes to the side. At Dorian’s gentle urging, I get to my feet so that he can rise and strip, and for once, I feel nervous. I’ve been sleeping with them for the better part of a month; hell, this isn’t even close to the first threesome I’ve taken part in. But this just feels like so much more than that.
Lucien tugs on the hem of my shirt, tossing it on the couch as Dorian wraps his arms around my waist. His fingers brush over my hypersensitive skin as he unbuttons my jeans, his thumbs gently stroking over the waistband of my underwear. Slowly, as if giving me a chance to change my mind despite instigating it, he helps me work them over my hips.
The heat emanating off of them is immense, and with Dorian’s chest pressing into my back and my palms on Luce’s, I’d be surprised if I walked away from this without any more brands. I take a breath, chastising myself for working this up in my head so much.
Just some cocks, Cambria, pull yourself together. It’s not like you haven’t already had sex with them both, just not at the same time. Stop acting like a blushing virgin and appreciate the beautiful sight in front of you.
Just because I’m aware it will annoy him, knowing how much he loves to take charge, I turn my back on Lucien. I tangle my fingers in Dorian’s blonde hair, gently tugging on it as I kiss him hard. This, I can do. I can shut off my brain and let myself feel for pleasure instead of the sake of feeling.
“Hey,” he murmurs against my lips, pulling back to kiss along my jaw and neck. “Where’d you go just now?” My pause gives away my confusion so he continues, “You flipped a switch. Don’t hide from us, beautiful.”
I bite the inside of my cheek before sighing, knowing he’s right. Gradually, I melt into his touch, taking down the walls I’d just begun to rebuild. Lucien’s hand smooths over my ass as he leans in to gently bite the other side of my throat. I groan, arching into both of their touches as I stop stressing over messing everything up and just start letting myself feel.
As the minutes tick by, the uncomfortable air in the room starts to bleed away along with our reservations. The two of them may be close, but never this close. The relationships between all of us are changing, not just the ones with me. It’s so convoluted, yet the more I relax, the more I realize it doesn’t have to be.
This time when I kiss Dorian, he doesn’t pull away, meets me with just as much enthusiasm if not more. Luce’s hand trails around my ribs and slides down my stomach, settling between my legs to toy with me. When he pinches and rolls my clit, a whimper slips out, one Dorian greedily swallows.
I usually take the lead whenever Dorian and I are alone together, and Lucien dominates the hell out of me, so I’m surprised when Dorian suddenly gets aggressive, lifting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist instinctively, and he doesn’t hesitate to slide into me with a solid, punishing thrust that has me crying out.
Lucien is firm and unyielding behind me, a wall of muscle to hold me in place as Dorian withdraws, his thrusts shallow and never fully unsheathing himself. I wrap an arm around Lucien’s neck, arching my back with the next moan that tears from my throat. He dips his head and chases the sound, each pleasured breath slipping past my lips spurring Dorian on harder, faster. Luce’s fingers never cease on my clit, driving me crazy from the overwhelming onslaught of sensations.
Just as I start to come, Dorian pulls out and sets me back on shaky legs. I nearly weep from coming so close, just to have my orgasm snatc
hed out from under me, held barely out of reach.
He drops onto the couch, throwing one arm over the back and lazily stroking himself with the other, smirking at me. “All good things, to fae who wait,” he teases and I narrow my eyes at him.
A sharp smack stings across my ass from Lucien, and I clench around nothing, desperate and aching. I reach between my legs to just handle it myself, but Lucien firmly grips my wrist to restrain me. He steps flush against my back, his rigid cock settling between my ass cheeks. I squirm against him, reveling in his sharp hiss.
“Bend over the arm of the couch,” he commands.
Grinding back against him, I don’t budge. He’s so used to no one challenging him, needs to be reminded that not everyone fears him. Well, and he fucks harder when he’s annoyed; two birds, one stone.
He growls, the vibration traveling up my spine and making my lady bits weep with anticipation. His hand closes around my throat, arching my back as he leans down to whisper a warning in my ear.
“You just insist on making everything difficult, don’t you?”
My eyelids flutter shut as I lean against him, snaking a hand between my legs before he can stop me. “You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if I listened.”
His free hand covers mine, plunging two fingers inside of my slick heat as I continue my ministrations. Before long I’m writhing again, straddling the line of blissful release. I should have expected him to pull back, capturing my wrist in his to leave me wanting. I snarl, feeling borderline feral.
He licks the shell of my ear before whispering again. “Are you going to listen this time?”
Grinding my teeth, I pull from his grip and march over to the couch where Dorian is languidly stroking himself, enjoying the show. I brace my hands on the arm of the couch, tossing an annoyed look over my shoulder at Lucien.
“Happy now?”
He tsks his tongue, not moving any closer. “Not quite. Why don’t you show Dorian how much you appreciate him, hmm?”
Flicking my eyes back to Dorian, his cheeks flushed, I glance down at the moisture beaded on the head of his cock. Slowly, to torture him as much as me, I lean forward to flick my tongue over the tip before swirling it. Inch by glorious inch I swallow him down, taking him as far as I can and using my hand on the rest while bracing myself on his thigh. I hum, making him jerk beneath me, and do it again just to watch him squirm.
I come up for air before going down on him again, swallowing him further than I planned as Lucien slams into me from behind. I nearly gag, but push through the reflex like a champ. Dorian fists my hair, guiding me as gently as he can manage, shallowly thrusting up to meet me. All the while, Lucien relentlessly pounds into me, setting a punishing rhythm that makes it nearly impossible not to just hold on for the ride and hope I don’t choke.
Dorian can’t take it anymore, his cock jerking in my mouth with his release. I swallow down every drop, hollowing out my cheeks to suck him harder, reveling in the way he shudders, hypersensitive. When I finally pull away to suck down a few panting breaths, Lucien gathers my hair in a ponytail; firmly, yet gently tugging.
“Such a good little fae, doing as I ask.”
Shuddering, I clench around him as he continues to slide in and out of me. I love this side of Lucien, when he channels all of that domineering presence into making me come apart in the best of ways. Bracing my hands on the arm of the couch, every snap of his hips makes me push back against him. So help me Fates, if he tries to deny me now I will scream.
He tugs on my hair, forcing me upright while still buried inside of me. Raking his teeth down the side of my neck, he bites my shoulder, finally tossing me over the edge. My nails dig into his arm as I come, the force of it so intense my legs shake.
He pulls out a second later, his cum shooting out over my lower back. The aftershocks rock through me, only his firm hold keeping me upright. Thank fuck he remembered in the heat of the moment, because the last thing we need to add to the mess we’re in right now is a baby.
Birth control. No matter what happens tomorrow, I’m going to use my abilities to get something installed to shut this uterus up tighter than Tartarus.
He loosens his grip slowly and Dorian passes me one of the shirts we discarded to clean up. By the time I turn around, both men are fastening their pants, still shirtless. It’s a beautiful sight to behold and I make a mental note to pick up a Polaroid camera from somewhere. They might not be comfortable with the idea of recording ourselves anymore, not trusting cyber space, but I’ll be damned if I don’t get some naughty pictures for my spank bank at least; the more unique the better.
S.O.S. Send awkward nudes. I don’t see how this could end poorly at all. Maybe I’ll text it as ‘noods’ to be discreet, to humor their paranoia.
Chapter 5
Lucien
After detouring so Cambria could manipulate a doctor for a birth control implant, she beams, looking at the fairy ring that we finally found after six hours of traipsing through the woods. This spot is about an hour away from the one we’d been using, so we’ll need to allot for the extra time to get to and from. We start trudging back to the car, forging as straight of a path as possible to memorize how to easily find it again.
Ever since our conversation last night, I’m actively trying to be better. I’m analyzing every one of my actions from different angles and frankly? It’s exhausting. I have no idea how Atlas and Dorian read a room and people so effortlessly. I’ve just always found it simpler to assume people are terrible and working against you until they prove otherwise.
Because of my scrutiny, I notice that she’s biting her lip more than usual, that her gaze flicks to me and away just as quickly multiple times. I pull to a stop, replaying the last half hour over in my head, but can’t think of anything I’ve done that would have made her upset.
“Put me out of my misery here, love. What’s on your mind?”
She rubs her arm, fidgeting. “I wanted to ask you something, but it’s not any of my business and I know that. Just curious.”
The pooling dread curled in the pit of my stomach unfurls and I start walking once more. “Fire away. We have a long trek ahead of us, so may as well play twenty questions.” She still looks uncomfortable, but at this point, I wish she’d just spit it out so I could stop stressing, even if it ends up being something that will hurt to hear.
“Tell me about your family? I know about Maddox, but that’s it,” she finally blurts out.
I run my tongue over my top teeth with my mouth closed, a nervous tick I never fully grew out of. It’s beyond time for the conversation, but I’m so accustomed to keeping everything close to the vest, I’m not even sure where to begin.
Dorian seems to pick up on where my head is at with that uncanny ability of his, suggesting a starting point. “May as well go all the way back to the beginning and get the story out in one fell swoop instead of skipping around.”
Nodding, I offer her a hand as the ground starts shifting, unstable and muddy from the nearby river. We stick close to it as a landmark though, despite making the hike difficult. If we time things too close and we find ourselves rushing back here with an exhausted, worn down fae, the three of us need to know where the hell we’re going without relying on her abilities to guide us.
“My mother died when I was a toddler, so all of my memories are of my dad. He never wanted to talk about her, the subject always making him sad, so eventually I quit asking.” I sigh, just as frustrated as always. It’s hard to miss someone you don’t even remember, but at least some stories to hold onto, to make her seem like a real person, would have been nice.
“Most of my childhood was...unpleasant, to say the least. Dad couldn’t stand how quiet it was without her, and there was just a constant stream of chaos in that house. Music, TVs, radios; everything was always blaring to the point that it was hard to sleep or think. But if there’s one thing that man wouldn’t tolerate, it was silence. The second it was blissfully quiet, he would flip out in a
rage.”
Exhaling a heavy breath, I take a few moments to keep from getting too caught up in the memories, not wanting to relive them. Yet no matter how much I try, it’s nearly impossible not to hear his screams echo through my skull, to recall the way he’d destroy the house, sobbing. All the while I’d just try to stay as small and invisible as possible, waiting for him to get control of himself.
“Every evening after dinner he forced me to play that damn piano, no matter if I was sick or had a mountain of homework. He’d lean against it, forcing me to play over and over until I had each piece memorized and never missed a note. It came in handy during some of his meltdowns, able to bring him back from the brink sometimes. Really, it didn’t matter what type of music or show was on, he just hated to be alone with his thoughts. So it turned into a routine, albeit a forced one.”
I break off as we’re forced to scramble up a chest high cliff or be tossed into the river. The entire layout of this forest barely makes any sense, so it’s fitting we’d find a ring here; nothing can ever be easy where the fae are concerned.
Dorian offers her a hand up, though she’s faring better than we are out here. “Hence the scarecrow jokes. Luce is good at chasing the monsters away. For his dad, for me. Now Atlas, but don’t let him know I told you he’s scared of the dark,” he whispers obnoxiously loud behind his hand, trying to imbue the heavy moment with a bit of levity. For all his claims otherwise, he’s the one that pulls us back when we sink too far, the optimistic glue that keeps our shattered pieces together.
I toss a grateful look in his direction before pressing on. “When I was nine, there was pounding at the door and I fumbled the piece I was playing. For once, he didn’t go on a tirade about my mistakes, insisting everything be flawless, so it stuck vividly in my memory. I just sat there, anxiously waiting for him to come back and too scared to move, anticipating the other shoe that was inevitably bound to drop because it was so out of character for him. And then when he eventually did, he was crying.”